No Make Up Pls..

I came across Iya Misa’s blog about wearing make up and I realized we’re on the same boat when it comes to that issue. I rarely wear make up also. I have this mannerism of smudging my face whenever I’m bored or scratching my eyes whenever I’m sleepy. Would you imagine me doing that while I have make up on. I’ll definitely look terrible!

Like her blog, I want my readers (if I have any.. Ü) to know how I look like everyday.

This photo very much describe how I look like on a daily basis. Tee, jeans, my favorite hot pink sneakers or flip-flops, a jacket and no make up on. Not your kikay girl, I may say. I want to be on a hassle free look most of the time. I don’t know, maybe I grew up on a family where make is not really necessary. I have nothing against make up though. I envy those ladies who wear them beautifully! I don’t even know how to use them, frankly speaking. I am contented on my daily routine which is shower-air dried hair-powder-lip gloss on occasions. I can say that I am not really vain when it comes to my face, I’m not even into moisturizers or toners too. Loose powder is my best friend.

Like Iya, my sister, who is much younger than me, always tell me to wear make up. She constantly reminds me that I look like a tomboy when I’m usually in my jeans and just have my hair tied. When it comes to make up, I can say that she’s a pro. She’s good at it! She even shaped her own eyebrows and I left mine bushy. Haha! She’s also into eyeliners and mascara to enhance her long lashes more.

My Sister KC, she’s beautiful! Isn’t she? Ü

I’m not being a hypocrite here, I wear make up on several occasions but not on a daily basis like other girls do. As I have mentioned, I’m not saying it’s bad.. I am just not comfortable with it! Well, everybody has their own views about this. For others, wearing make up enhances their beauty more and others just can’t figure out that they look better without it. It’s a case to case basis, I may say. For me, as long as you feel confident about yourself, it could be with make up or it could be plain you.. that’s good enough.

I wanna be a Billionaire so freaking BAD!

Yes.. as Bruno Mars’ song shouts.. I wanna be a billionaire so freaking BAD! Haha! I live a normal life like most of the people do but somewhere at the back of my mind.. I wonder what it feels like to be a billionaire. Maybe I could have my own hotel or resort somewhere in the Mediterranean coast.

I love the beach and anything related to it so it would be perfect to have my own secret place or maybe an island away from civilization.

Or I could buy a yatch so I can travel the seven seas with convenience Ü

Since I’m family oriented, I want a house that could accommodate my entire family like billionaire Warren Buffett’s place. Pretty neat huh? Ü From my Husband and kids, Mom and Dad, brothers and sister, brother and sisters in law, down to my nephews and nieces. I couldn’t live a life of my own for that matter. I want to share all this wealth with them. Family always comes first Ü

Who’s up for flying? Ü If I’ll be a billionaire, I’ll travel the world like there’s no tomorrow and I want something like Russian Billionaire Alisher Usmanov’s Airbus A340. Come fly with me Ü

Though I don’t know how to drive, maybe I could use one of this. Haha! It’s the Spyker C8 Aileron of Spyker Cars. Awesome right? Just click the link to know more about my dream car. Ü

How about this for a phone? It’s the Diamond-Covered iPhone 4S and it is the world’s most expensive mobile phone including 500 diamonds with a total of 100 carats. According to the article I read about it, it cost $5.5 million pounds or almost $9.5 million US dollars. It is just WOW! Haha!

Diamonds! Simply because they’re Girl’s best friend. Hehe! This is Diamond Drop Earrings by House Of Harry Winston worth $8.5 millions. This would definitely be a head turner if worn. Classy and yeah.. expensive! Well, I’m a billionaire remember? Ü

The Cinderella Slippers

Nike Air Force One

Shoes.. Shoes.. Shoes.. I so love them but I’m not really a heels kind of girl. I want those pieces that I will be comfortable with but if it will be the “Cinderella Slippers”.. that is a totally different story. Haha! It is the world’s most expensive pair of shoes costs $2 million! As for sneakers, Nike Air Force One “So Calls” costs $50,000. Cool right? Ü

These are just expensive stuff that I can buy if I’ll be a billionaire but I wonder if I’ll still be as happy as today. Though there are times that money is our everyday issue and it feels like that it is the only important thing on earth, we are happy because we are together. Especially me and my husband and the rest of the family. I also wonder if I’ll get to see them everyday still if I’ll be a billionaire. Maybe not.. and that would be the saddest thing ever. I still believe that money can’t buy happiness and we need to appreciate the little things that make us smile. Ü

Things I want to accomplish before this year ends.

Maybe this is a bit late, I could have done this early this year but still, daydreaming doesn’t have deadlines right? I just felt that I could have a list of things that I want to do, buy or maybe go to. I will keep this list feasible as much as possible so I won’t have unfinished business for 2012. (Side note: Syempre char lang yan kasi yung ibang naiisip ko.. bomalabs talaga! Haha)

This is in no particular order naman. Which ever pop to my mind first since I have tons. Hihi! (Witch Laugh daw yan).

  • Watch a live PBA game – I have always wanted to watch a live PBA game specifically if it’s gonna be the Petron Blazers or Rain or Shine Elasto Painters. My Hubby and I really enjoy watching basketball games at home so we wanted to know the feeling of watching it live.
  • Cooking a perfect Adobo – Do I have to elaborate this any further? I have tried twice, I think.. Both of them were edible in all fairness to me but those were not the kind of Adobo I would want to serve elsewhere. Haha!
  • Visit the salon – I’m having that Bad Hair Day Syndrome everyday, I swear! I seriously forgot the last time I visited a salon to have my hair fix. Awful!
  • Get myself a Blackberry – This is really an I-want-this-for-the-sake-of-BBM thing. Not really an I-need-this issue. Haha! Hoping that I could have this as a Christmas present 🙂
  • An out-of-town trip – I really wanted to go to Baguio or even Tagaytay just to have a breather of my day-to-day stressful routine. I always feel that I’m enclosed in a square box so this is thinking out of the box maybe. (Waley!)
  • Try Zip Line – This might be a bit of extreme and the fact that I am Acrophobic. I’m thinking that I want to live my life everyday like it’s gonna be my last so yeah.. Face your Fears!
  • Harry Potter movie marathon – Oh how I miss the boy who lived! I’m really hoping that J.K. Rowling would consider writing additional books and yeah I want to relive the adventure 🙂
  • Get at least one of Vans’ Hello Kitty Collection – I’m a fan of that famous cat! Haha! She is so cute plus the fact that they’re from Vans, I really think that owning a pair would be priceless.

  • Get pregnant? – Hahaha! Everybody’s waiting for this for almost 5 years now. Maybe I would be this year. Let’s keep our fingers crossed 🙂

End of my list? Naaa.. maybe out of other stuff to think of. Haha! I can make use of a new post for the rest of my To do list this year tough. 🙂

Kiss Ass

kiss (somebody’s) ass  (American very informal)

To try too hard to please someone and to agree with everything they say, in a way which other people find unpleasant.

Unpleasant and yeah.. annoying. I can’t really figure out why there are people who prefers to kiss somebody’s ass to get to the top. Personally, I despise people who forget friends and would not consider somebody else’s feelings to just get what they want by doing this. I can’t stress it enough how it disgusts me to know a lot of people who are apparently experts in kissing their bosses’ asses. Those power thirsty ticks that would definitely step on whoever gets in their way. Fake friends. Yeah.. These are the people you would consider as fake friends. Talking nicely in your face then would stab your back just to get what they don’t deserve.

It saddened me also that there were people who were a lot talented and deserving of a certain position that was shadowed over by these ticks because of the so-called “boss befriending” tactics. They get discouraged and learn to self-pity thinking that they’re not good enough or their efforts were not being appreciated or acknowledged.

Maybe this is also one good reason why are economy is dropping. “Palakasan” is overrated! It is everywhere and others might deny that this is happening but the bottom line is.. Shit happens!

It always feels good to achieve something you have worked for. Those achievements that you can brag to all the people around you that you have achieved fair and square and to celebrate it with your friends who were there in your journey? Priceless.

I still believe that on all actions there will be an equal reaction and karma is definitely true. Everything might be going smoothly for them now but there would come a time that they would realize that all the things they’ve done are not worth it. Friends are not worth any positions! They can’t even take all those wealth and power in their grave when the time comes so why take time to earn them with bullshits.

Minsan May Isang Puta

I read this article from Saab Magalona’s blog site. According to her this was written by Mike Portes back in 2004 and there was a film adaptation from Cinemalaya in 2010 entitled “Ganap na Babae”. It was quite an interesting article so I thought that it would be a nice idea to share it.


Minsan May Isang Puta

Tingin ng mga bobong kapitbahay ko, puta daw ako. Nagpapagamit, binabayaran. Sabi nila, ako daw ang pinakamaganda at pinakasikat sa aming lugar noon. Di ko nga alam kung sumpa ito, dahil dito naletse ang kinabukasan ko.

Tara, makinig ka muna sa kwento ko, yosi muna tayo.

Alam mo, maraming lumapit sa akin. Nagkagusto at naakit. Ang hirap pag lahat sa iyo, virgin eh. Tinanggap ko naman silang tao, bakit kaya nila ako ginago? Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga nangyari sa akin. Bukas palad ko naman silang pinakitunguhan, ni hindi ko nga itinuring na iba. Iniisip ko na nga lang na kasi di sila taga rito kaya siguro talagang ganoon.

Tatlong malilibog na foreigners ang nagpyesta sa katawan ko. Sabi nila na-rape daw ako.

Sa tatlong beses akong nagahasa, ang pinakahuli ang di ko makakalimutan.

Parang maski di ko ginusto ang mga nangyari, hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Kasi, ibang-iba ang hagod niya. Umiikot ang mundo ko sa tuwing ginagamit niya ako. May mga pagkakaton na nasusuka na ko sa mga nangyayari sa aming dalawa. Parang ‘pag humahalinghing siya, nararamdaman ko na nalalason ako.. Gusto ko mang umayaw, hindi ko makuhang humindi. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit. Ibang klase din kasi siya mag-sorry eh, lalo pa at inalagaan niya ako at ang mga naging anak ko.

Alam mo, parating ang dami naming regalo – may chocolates, yosi at ano ka! May datung pa! Nakakabaliw siya! Alam kong ginagamit niya lang ako pero pagamit naman ako nang pagamit. Sa kanya namin natutunan mag-inggles, di lang magsulat ha! Magbasa pa!

Nung kinasama ko siya, guminhawa buhay namin. Sosyal na sosyal kami! Ewan ko nga ba, akala ko napapamahal na ako sa kanya. Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na kaligayahan namin, yun pala unti-unti niya akong pinapatay.

Punyetang buhay! Sa dami ng lason na sinaksak niya sa katawan ko, muntik na akong malaspag. Ang daming nagsabi na ang tanga tanga ko. Palayasin ko na daw. Taon ang binilang bago ako natauhang makining sa payo. Iniisip ko kasi na parang di ko kakayanin na mawala siya sa akin… Sa amin! .

Sa tulong ng ilan sa mga anak ko, napalayas ko ang demonyo pero ang hirap magsimula. Hindi nga ako sigurado kung nabunutan ako ng tinik o nadagdagan pa. Masyado na kasi kaming nasanay sa sarap ng buhay na naranasan namin sa kanya, kaya eto nabaon kami sa utang. Lubog na lubog kami sa pagkakautang, kulang yata pati kaluluwa namin para ibayad sa mga inutang namin.

Nakakahiya man aminin pero hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing mabigat ang problema ko, siya ang tinatakbuhan ko. ‘Yun nga lang, kapit sa patalim sabi nga nila. Para akong isang aso na nangagat ng amo, na bumabahag ang buntot at umaamo kapag nangangailangan.

Usap-usapan ako ng mga kapitbahay ko. May nanghihinayang, namumuhi at naaawa. Puta na kasi ang isang magandang katulad ko. Ang dating hinahangaan at humahalina ay nabibili sa murang halaga. Alam mo maski ganun ang mga nangyari sa akin, nilakasan ko pa rin ang loob ko. Kailangan makita ng mga anak ko, na masasandalan nila ako maski ano pang mangyari.

Maski ano pa ang sabihin ng iba, sinisikap namin na maging maganda ang buhay namin. Nag-aambisyon kami at nangangarap. Ayun, may mga anak ako na nasa Japan, Hong Kong, Saudi. Yung iba nag-US, Canada, Europe. ‘Yung iba ayaw umalis sa akin. Halos lahat, wala naman silbi. Masaya daw sa piling ko, maski amoy pusali ako.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko na nagsisikap na tulungan ang kalagayan namin, siya din ang dami ng mga anak ko na nanamantala sa kabuhayan at kayaman na itinatabi ko para sa punyetang kinabukasan naming lahat. Eto na nga ang panahon na halos di na kami makaahon sa hirap ng buhay. Napakahirap dahil nasanay na kami sa ginhawa at sarap.

Alam mo, gusto ko na sanang tumigil sa pagpuputa kaso ang laki talaga ng letseng utang ko eh. Palaki pa ng palaki! Paano na lang ang mga anak kong naiwan sa aking puder? At paano na lang ang mga anak kong nasa abroad? Baka di na nila ako balikan o bisitahin man lang? Hindi na importante kung laspagin man ang ganda ko, madama lang ng mga anak ko ang pagmamahal ko. Malaman nila na ibibigay ko ang lahat para sa kanila.

Sa tuwing titingin ako sa salamin, alam ko maganda pa rin ako. Meron pa din ang bilib sa akin. Napapag-usapan pa din. Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin, nakikita ko ang mga anak ko. Tutulo na lang ang mga luha ko ng di ko namamalayan. Ang gagaling nga ng mga anak ko eh, namamayagpag kahit saan sila pumunta. Mahusay sa kahit anong gawain. Tama man o mali.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko, iilan lang ang may malasakit sa akin. May malasakit man, nahihilaw pa.

Mabigat dalahin para sa akin, ang katotohanan na ni minsan ay di kami naging isang pamilya. Halos lahat ng mga anak ko, galit sa isa’t isa. IIlan ang gusto magtulungan, naghihilahan pa. Madalas kong itinatanong sa sarili ko kung naging masama ba akong nanay para magturingan ng ganito ang mga anak ko?

Kanino bang similya ng demonyo nanggaling ang mga anak kong maituturing mong may mga pinag-aralan pero nakakadama ng saya at sarap sa paghihirap ng kapatid nila? Di ko lubos maisip kung saan impiyerno nanggaling ang kasikiman ng ilan sa mga anak kong ito. Sila pa naman ang inaasahan kong magbabangon sa amin. Nakakabaliw isipin na natitiis nila ang kalagayan ng kanilang mga kapatid na halos mamatay sa hirap ng buhay. Parang di sila magkakapatid sa tindi ng pagkaganid at walang pagmamalasakit.

Ang di ko akalain ay mismong mga anak ko, ang tuluyang sisira sa akin. Kinapital ang laspag na ganda ko. Masaya sila sa mga nabibili nila mula sa pinagputahan ko. Buong angas nilang pinagyayabang ang mga pansamantalang yaman at ang kanilang hilaw na pagkatao sa mga makakakita at makikinig. Talaga bang nakakalula ang materyal na kayamanan at mga titulong ikinakabit sa pangalan? Hindi ko maintindihan.

Minsan sa pagtingin ko sa salamin, ni hindi ko na nga kilala sarili ko.

Dadating na naman ang pasko, sana maalala naman ako ng mga anak ko. Ilang linggo pa, magbabagong taon na. Natatakot ako sa taong darating. Ngayon pa lang usap-usapan na ang susunod na pangbubugaw sa akin. Gagamitin pa nila ang kahinaan ng mga kapatid nilang alipin sa kalam ng tiyan. Sa tagal ng panahong ganito ang sitwasyon namin parang eto lang ang sulok na gagalawan ko. Sana may magtanggol naman sa akin. Ipaglaban naman nila ako. Gusto kong isigaw: “Ina ninyo ako! Pagmamahal nyo lang ang kailangan ko!”

Sensya na, ang haba na ng drama ko. Masisira na ang make up ko nito eh. Salamat ha, pinakinggan mo ako. Malaking bagay sa akin na nakausap kita. Ang tagal nating nag-usap, di man lang ako nagpapakilala.

Ay sorry, di ko nasabi pangalan ko.

Pilipinas nga pala.


Saab also shared the original link where she read the article:

Love + Stupidity = Trouble

I am not okay. I feel so horrible it hurts to smile. Dejavu. Yes. I can’t believe that it happened again. I thought everything was sailing smoothly then it happened.. Again. I never learned. I have never learned. God.. I can’t breathe. I want to runaway. Runaway from all these but I know for a fact that it wont go away if I’ll do that. It wont change a thing. I know it will still hunt me. I thought I have fixed it.. I thought we’re okay now. I thought he values our relationship more now after everything that we’ve been through. Yeah. I thought. I just thought. I’m tired. Tired of all these. Tired of repeating the same mistake over and over again. I can’t blame anybody for this but myself. I chose to stay. I chose to fixed things. What can I do? I love him. I just don’t know when will I ever learn or when will he realize that all he does is bullshit. Hoping that he’ll realize all of this the soonest. When it’s never too late for us to fix things. When I still love him..

After 8 months..


Hubby was wondering why my mood swings were on their extremes since last night when I arrived from work. I bought him pastries last night but he didn’t like them so out of the blue, I was crying like a baby. When I woke up, my goodnight sleep didn’t change a thing. I’m still not in the mood for everything. As in everything. When I’m about to take a shower to prepare for work, I noticed that I have red stains on my underwear. That explains why I’m having mood swings and unexplainable pain in my tummy. Arghh.. PMS! I missed that. Men always think that women are just making this as an excuse to be grumpy and all. I just wish that they would experience this every month so they would know how it really feels. I was surprised about this because it was like 8 months ago since I had my last menstruation.

When I stopped taking pills way back March, I haven’t had my menstruation in a regular basis. I was thinking before that I was pregnant but I was not and thinking that it was just delayed since I’m not taking the pills anymore. I’m really scared to go on a check up. I have all these scary things in my head that an OB Gyne would say about this so I prefered not to visit one though Hubby constantly reminds me of that. Even my friends were telling me to have a consultation so I can have the peace of mind. Well, I’m planning to see an OB Gyne soon but still scared. I just hope that my menstruation cycle will be as regular as before.


Common problems during Valentine’s Day

I’m pretty sure that a lot of people dread this day to come. It’s not really an issue if you’re in a relationship or not. There are some things that’s usually causing headache for some. So whether you’re taken or taken for granted.. Valentines Day is the most crucial day of all time (aside from Christmas of course Ü)

The most common problem is that when you’re not even dating or seeing somebody. It’s like you’re in hot seat every year when Valentine’s day approaches mainly because most of your friends will have someone to take them to movies or give them something that you would be envy of definitely. Or you will be bored at home since you’re thinking that you can’t just call somebody on your phonelist, maybe because they’re out with someone special. There are some time that you would not turn on the TV nor listen to the radio because you’re expecting that it will be raining love stories and love songs and you might pity yourself by being alone in times like this. You will also wonder where all the fine boys/girls are or even think that you’re not good-looking enough. I think that this is not really a problem with guys since girls should have flowers and stuff every year on this day. Haha! It’s really awkward to walk outside alone while everybody who passes you by carry flowers or walking hand in hand with someone. It’s like you experience a mini heart attack when this happen. Better yet stay home and sleep all day. Anyway, this is not a week-long celebration. Haha!

I really admire those who carry this situation so good that they prefer to treat themselves or spend time with family instead of hiding in their shells. There are some who doesn’t make this a big deal out of their life or simply making deadma na lang or they’re kinda used to spending this alone every year.

Heartbrokens. Well, those who just broke up with their loveones definitely hates this day. Maybe because they’re used to spend this date with their exes. Specially that a lot of things will remind them of their memories and good times together. If their exes regularly send them flowers, take them out to fancy restaurants or just simply walking in a park. This is indeed suicide if a broken-hearted person goes out of the real world and stare at couples usually dating around. For some, there is nowhere to hide since you will be seeing couples anywhere you go. From malls to cinemas, bars to parks and most commonly cafes and restaurants. You would also think that this is the perfect time to throw away all those stuff that would remind you of your old love or maybe ask friends to set you up on a blind date just to get even with your ex who replace you right after you guys broke up. I wont blame them for this since a lot of people are thinking that Valentines Day is for couples and lovers so being broken-hearted at this time of the year is like walking half dead.

Last and definitely not the least.. Looking for a perfect gift or surprise for your someone special. This is a lot of pressure mostly for guys. Haha! But of course, girls would expect something unique and really special from their men. This can be a bit selfish for girls, I know, but hey we are the queens this time of the year (Aside from mothers day. Haha!) Where in the world would you see a girl setting up roses or candle lit dinners for their boyfriends? That’s 1 out of 10 believe me. We could cook yeah but not really those flowers and teddies. No wayyyy! Haha! The common problem would be on how to add up spice to the usual flowers and dinners. To not be so cliché or patterned to the usual. Maybe researching would be a great help or watching YouTube’s finest proposals. Haha! You could also ask your girl on how she would want to spend that day with you but that is some kinda risky since if it would be a surprise, we would know you’re just fishing for information. For some, budget would definitely be a problem because as much as they want to have it as bongga as possible if they wont have enough bucks for it, epic fail! If you would be good in some do-it-yourself gifts the better so you can save some for maybe a rose or 3. Guys usually have this After Valentine’s Syndrome or most commonly known as I’m-Broke-After-Valentine’s. Hahaha! There are some girls that would prefer to just spend time with you on a movie or simply having DVDs at home munching on a home-made popcorn. Well, you’re lucky if your girlfriend is this type. Haha!

As you can see, not only singles do have this It’s-Valentine’s-Again stuff. I believe everybody does (Excluding girls who are attached to mapera guys who will be just expecting gifts and all. Haha) Let me know, if you guys have additional insights about this so I can update this and add yours. I love this day though. Spread love and cheer everyday.. Not only during Valentine’s Day Ü

It was just a bad dream..

I woke up feeling not really good earlier. I had this dream or let say nightmare that had me thinking. I was so scared merely by just thinking about it. It was so real! The thing that made it so real was the fact that I was on a boat with some close relatives and it was the actual boat that I am on everyday to work, shortcut kasi yun from Pandacan to Sta. Ana. It was so scary. While we were on the boat, there was a whirlpool that’s sucking everything to the bottom of the river. I even lost my relatives that’s with me. I just woke up soaking wet in a room I’m not familiar with and my phone was even with me and it’s also soaking wet. I was shivering when I woke up from that nightmare and still not certain if it’s real or not. I even checked myself for any traces that I have been wet or something.

That made me decide to research about what my dream is all about. I search it on Google and found this website that interprets dreams.. DREAMSLEEP. This is what is says..

Water Dreams – the Hidden Meaning

Dream 2Psychological Meaning:

Water usually represents our feelings and emotions. Like the waters of the womb, it can also represent security, life and birth. The nature of the water can reveal your emotional state of mind. For example, if you dream of crashing waves or rocky seas, this may show that your emotions are out of control.

A fast flowing river may show emotions that are rushing ahead too fast but if the waters are peaceful then so are you.

Dream 1Mystical Meaning:

Deep pools and lakes of water can represent the unconscious.

Like the lake in the Arthur legends, magical gifts may appear to change your life

I found this from DREAMMOODS


To see water in your dream symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To dream that water is boiling suggests that you are expressing some emotional turmoil. Feelings from your unconscious are surfacing and ready to be acknowledged. You need to let out some steam. 

To see calm, clear water in your dream means that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation.

To see muddy or dirty water in your dream indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to take some time to cleanse your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, the dream suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions.

To dream that water is rising up in your house suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

To hear running water in your dream denotes meditation and reflection. You are reflecting on your thoughts and emotions. 

To dream that you are walking on water indicates that you have total control over your emotions. It also suggests that you need to “stay on top” of your emotions and not let them explode out of hand. Alternatively, the dream is symbolic of faith in yourself.

And this from DREAMFORTH


To dream of noticing a strong undertow is an alert that you may be being sucked into a significant emotional drama. However, there is time to step back and not get caught up in another person’s boring choices.

To dream of being caught by an undertow and being out of control implies that you may now have to accept your part in an emotional drama before finding a way to breathe and walk away.

As per what I read, well obviously, baka magulo nga ang utak ko or paikot ikot as I had a whirlpool of water in my dream or my emotions are out of control. I think, I also need to accept the things that I can’t change for me not to be caught on too much emotional drama. What I don’t understand is.. what were my relatives have to do with it? Hmm.. Maybe I need to have a separate research for that. Still not satisfied about what I read regarding this though. It’s like I’m half full. Maybe someone out there could help me.. Hmm..